


Trium𝕍irate and Mr. Wendigo

by Ketsu_Ekiki



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: 1920's slang, 60 Stadnalones in chronological order, Alastor is So Done (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor-Typical Cannibalism, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Party, Slang, Somewhat, Tags May Change, Unreliable Narrator, Valentino is just Babysitting (Hazbin Hotel), Velvet is their adopted child and it really depends how shippy I make her, Vox is a Brat (Hazbin Hotel), Vox/Valentino will eventually happen, not sure about Alastor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:35:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29305089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ketsu_Ekiki/pseuds/Ketsu_Ekiki
Summary: Alastor was a man of many words and much boredom. But even someone as volatile as him had the one or other person he avoided.But what if those people made it their mission to bother your 'till the end of your afterlife?...A 60 Chapter exercise on 1920's Slang.
Relationships: Alastor & Valentino (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor & Vox (Hazbin Hotel), Valentino & Vox (Hazbin Hotel)
Kudos: 15





	Trium𝕍irate and Mr. Wendigo

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was partially inspired by MuseValentine's [Smiling Man](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21849835) and HuntingPeople's [Valastor Fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22663882). Definitly give those two a visit, they are so much quality content for such a cheap price of.... nothing! Imagin that :')
> 
> Also the Spotify Playlist for this chapter is the Album [En Français](https://open.spotify.com/album/42zj1XDa6C2MV26uQD20oK?si=wSnHVYtnQsuW6W3MhD0v3g) by Pomplamoose. Especially 'Les yeux noirs'!

The invite fluttered to him through the hotel this time, and if that irritated the radio demon he didn‘t show it. 

Those who organized these parties every year truly put in the effort to invite _everyone_ , even him, who wasn’t the easiest to reach given his distaste for multifunctional devices and modern typewriters. But even with all the effort they put into tracking him down he usually never accepted their invitation.

Getting invited so exclusively… it sounded alluring. That is, until you realize it was just a dozen _suits_ showing up to talk business.

But because whoever sent the invitation was nothing close to _discreet_ about it, golden envelope and it all, the rest of the hotelstaff quickly found themselves butting into _his matters_ , and, what usually became the annual ‘ignore the other Overlords’, has now devolved into Charlie _begging_ to attend as the hotel’s proxy, Nifty berating him for never attending or _telling her,_ and, weirdly enough, Angel Dust encouraging him to ‘get some friends his caliber’.

The last one still bothered the radio host. How come _Angle_ out of all of them found this so interesting? The spider was way too egocentric to actually care, since it wouldn’t benefit him at all. And his remarks had been genuine as well, not some lewds, half assed _jokes._

Since they all seemed so adamant (counting out Husker, who just showed a tinge of interest at the notion of Alastor being too busy to bother him and counting Miss Vagatha double for the both times she almost gouged his eyes out as he had at first refused to do it) he couldn’t help but let himself be persuaded to attend.

He regretted that decision as soon as he entered the banquet halls. The music was oddly clean and despite it’s fast pace there was a lack of stimuli or noteworthy melody that he didn’t even know if it was supposed to be _part_ of the party.

Why even play the tune if nobody paid it any respect? It was odd, the parties he remembered people would chat about the music, the artists, the singer, and the lyrics for hours on end. Here there were different corners, standing tables and seats, a buffet, _entertainment_ of various kinds, but mostly vulgar and in poor taste. Despite them acting like a bunch of _big men_ they do still recognize that this do be _hell_ huh?

He himself found nobody he truly _knew_ , which was unsurprising. The few Overlords who had actually bothered to converse with him were his direct enemies, and the others mostly steered clear from his carnage. Alastor wasn’t a powerful Overlord by a long shot, but when he hit he usually aimed for the top honcho immediately. He wasn’t interested in the small man, always aiming for the _Big Cheese_.

And this was a _room_ filled cheese.

So with nobody to know and no actual agenda that he felt like representing (sorry Charlie dear) he found himself gravitating towards the buffet, hunger licking at his intestines. It wasn’t a hunger that was supposed to be filled, but with nothing better to do he couldn’t help it.

At least there was something for everyone he figured, as he eyes the suspiciously nondescript flesh that _just_ seemed to tickle his nose in an all too familiar manner. Ah, yes, human flesh does tend to be expensive to come by here. He wasn’t too fond of fillet, but he supposed an exception had to do.

Just as he was about to seat himself far away from anyone else and resign himself to simply observing the others, something foreseeable happened. The arrival of a certain _trio_. 

Velvet, Valentino and _Vox_.

Alastor couldn’t say he was too fond of any of them, especially _Vox_ had been a thorn in his side for quite a while now. Curious enough this was the first time they were to be in somewhat close proximity while on neutral ground. That didn’t stop the itchy feeling that demanded him to jump at the demon's _throat_ and rip out his _cables for veins_. 

But no, he would be _behind the eight ball_ if he were to start a commotion now.

The other two were both similarly nauseating, Velvet being a _flapper_ who despite being here for such a short while already had an established safe spot next to Vox and Valentino. The latter had also carved himself an equally established spot in the porn industry.

While Velvet and Vox clocked in at reasonable heights, about six to seven feet each, the moth towered about most every other denizen down here with approximately eleven feet and the few times Alastor had the displeasure of observing the moth his neck aches all of the next day.

Whatever! Those fools were none of his concern. Chances are he wouldn’t even register to them as he ate and observed the ongoings of this ‘Overlord-get-together’! So there was no reason to look after them and muster them as intently as he did.

Occasionally slipping the raw fillet between his grinning teeth and watching the three other media moguls mingle with the others left Alastor with the bitter realization that maybe he was just a tad curious. Well, damned be it all!

He tried to stay seated, tapping his finger almost impatiently as he stalked the youngest member of their little _Triumvirate,_ Velvet _._ She hung on that small multifunctional device of hers, making photos left and right and posing with other Overlords. Most seem to simply indulge her, given that despite her small and weak stature she does have both Vox and Valentino backing her up. 

His shadow, mostly quiet until now, suddenly pulled at the hem of his suit, demanding him to look around the room to maybe distract the mind off the odd _Flapper._ And Alastor agreed, nothing good came of involving himself with one of the ‘V’s. But when he finally took his eye off the gal there were suddenly the two _other_ ‘V’s sitting next to him, cornering him in his sitting booth. _Oh._

So instead of distracting himself his other half wished for him to _pay attention_ to his surroundings! How uncomfortable…

Valentino barely looked up from his own multifunctional device, holding only one of the four hands up as if to greet the radio host. How- How lazy.

Vox on the other hand was _too_ friendly, leaning forward with a dirty grin of his own, almost as if to mock Alastor’s own smile.

“Hey Ally, wasn’t aware that they invited gramps to parties like these.” The picture-show-head spat, voice in frequencies that made Alastor want to pull down his ears and cover them, no, rip them out at the base.

“Well, hasn’t your mother ever taught you to greet strangers at a respectable distance, my dear, or is the decline of manners suddenly one of your so-called ‘trends’?” Alastor bit back, gritting his teeth as the microphone cane was summoned to push the other demon a bit away from his personal space. How ironic that out of the sexual deviant and tech savvy, the later was the first to invade said personal space! Hilarious.

Vox’s grin immediately vanished, hand pushing the cane to the side, off his chest, as he leaned back into his seat and crossed his arms.

“Fuck you, we’re the furthest from strangers you shitface. What the hell is a dusty old man doing at this party anyways?” he continued, irritation obvious. Vox really knew how to grate at his nerves, didn’t he…

“ _You_ , my dear, are a nobody in my mind. If you think I commit every _bird_ to my memory you're sorely mistaken.” the radio demon continued, his tone jovial but overlayed with a heavy stativ.

“But if you _need_ to know, there is no reason for me being here! What? You thought this is my first invitation?” There was a stoic but somewhat charming laugh slipping off the host’s lips.

“Oh my _fella_ , believe me when I say that usually I just had so much _better_ to do than attend these kinds of parties where none but _flat tires_ show up!”

Alastor’s smile grew as he saw Vox’s irritation do the same. 

“Are you looking for a fight, old geezer? I won’t mind _handing you one_.” Vox hissed, static crackling allround him and making Alastor’s hair stand up a tad.

“Oh, please! I would love to see you _do the dance!”_ the smaller responded, teeth seemingly growing and eyes shifting the slightest bit in their shade of red.

But before either of them could escalate any further a voice of reason seemed to speak up.

“Shut your traps, _do the dance_? Are you gonna perform the most epic Break Dance Battle? If not they don’t even start picking any _fights.”_ the moth to Alastor’s right interrupted them, Folding his legs over and putting down his multifunctional device.

“Voxxy; Stop being a childish rat. Alastor; stop behaving like a wet cat. I swear to god, if you’re not gonna _fuck_ don’t create such _friction_.” 

There was a feedback loop at the insinuation of ‘fucking’ Vox, and peripharel vision Alastor could make out a Barcode screen on the ugly visage of his nemesis. At least they seemed equally disturbed at _that_ notion! What a relief.

“Whatever. Besides, why are you immediately starting off on such a bad foot, we’re not exactly here to quarrel.” the moth added.

What?

At that Alastor’s eyes turned into slits. His shadow behind him was mimicking his expression, he could feel it, even if nobody saw it.

“Oho? Then why exactly are you… _gracing me_ , with your presence, my dear?” The demon inquired, voice wary but still sounding uplifting. 

“Hopefully not to actually converse.” the radio demon wondered aloud, a small chuckle at his own words as he finished off the last piece of fillet on the plate. Vox threw him a disgusted expression, but Alastor didn’t mind that, waiting for Valentino to answer his question. 

The tallest shrugged non-committal as he crossed his legs and leaned his upper pair of hands on the back onto the booth’s seats and lit a cigarette with the lower pair. How rude, smoking in the middle of a conversation was truly unbecoming.

“Well not only converse actually, rather than that we planned on asking you out for a bit.”, the moth puffed, pink smoke forming far above Alastor and Vox’s head like a cloud.

“Asking me- how come?” Alastor immediately demanded to know, not even pretending to consider it. They must take him for just another _boob_!

Vox made an annoyed noise, but didn’t elaborate at Valentino’s expression, as if they had _talked_ about how to approach the oldest demon.

“Well, in the end you really _are_ the odd one, aren’t ya? I mean, the three big media posts hang out all the time, not gonna lie honey, but you isolated your whole station from what most people now use to figure shit out. Their phone.” the Pimp wagged his own phone with his one free hand before putting it down again as he jumped into a small rant about how a seperate radio was bothersome to most demons.

There was a high frequency, ringing in the background, slowly growing louder, like a direct analogy how Alastor’s _patience_ was running _dry_.

“Hit a nerve, gramps?”, Vox spat at the end of it all, rather unhelpful.  
  
Ah, that’s it!  
  
Shifting in his own shadow Alastor got out of the seating booth despite Vox and Valentino both more less having trapped him when they originally sat down.

Valentino cursed, obviously startled when the radio demon didn’t sit anymore, but stood in front of the table, looking rather _sinister_.  
  
“I’ll _ankle this one off._ ” the host screeched, heavy static overlaying his voice as he leaned forwards, balancing his weight on his microphone. His grin was unwavering but _different_ , teeth almost seeming sharper, eyes a shade darker, his entire figure seemingly more boney, as if starved for weeks on end.

“Ah, shit- Look, Al-”  
  
“ _Alastor_ , to you.”

“Yeah, yeah sure, _Alastor,_ look. We’re just inviting you-”

“No interest thanks!”  
  
“-listen,we’re inviting you to hang out. No strings attached!” Valentino finished his sentence, there was a _thuck shortly after_ , and Vox yelped in pain as he pulled up his right leg from under the table.

Alastor looked down to see that where the now pulled leg used to be now one of Valentino’s obscene heels rested, but he immediately looked up back to the moth.  
  
“And I don’t know what ‘ankle one off’ means, but tell me it’s not you ignoring us for the next millenia, because despite Voxxy here being a _shithead-”_ , the moth threw a furious look at his companion before looking back at the radio host, “-me and Velvet actually try to give a fuck here.” 

There was a pause and Alastor simply blinked with wide eyes before falling into a charming laugh, static and unclean voice sample hanging heavy as if it was a laugh he recorded back in 1920. He tapped the tile floor with the cane of his microphone and an applause, one of the prerecorded ones, erupted, as if it was part of the record.

“To _ankle_ it off is to _walk it off_ , my dear do not worry so much! How amusing, no, I have no buisness with you _Boob’s_ , but…” he trailed off for a moment, as his shadow stepped besides him and mimicked the act of whispering something into his ear. Instead of actual voice or tone, there was only the mental image of Charlie pleading in the name of the hotel tugging at him. 

Well, it _was_ the reason why he even bothered with this boulevard!

“... Well, the hotel! Yes, since I am here as the Hotel’s proxy I can’t fully ignore this opportunity, can I know?” he sighed, content grin stretching over his face.

Valentino took a moment of processing what the other just said, before taking a long drag of his cigarette. Hm, he seemed _really_ bothered that Alastor didn’t want to talk Media, but if the moth was this bothered he wouldn’t just let the other _ankle off_ without having a date for their rendezvous.

  
But Vox opened his mouth, and before the _mug_ was about to ruin this Valentino nodded it off, kicking his partner a _second time_ (same spot! maybe the moth cracked a bone this time…) and shooed Alastor off to, and he quotes: “Do your ankle thing.”

* * *

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Ankle: to walk
> 
> ...
> 
> Twitter: [@hamhambambam](https://twitter.com/bambamhamham)  
> Instgram: [@ham.ish.blair](https://www.instagram.com/ham.ish.blair/)
> 
> Hit me up with anything of mention<3
> 
> Kudos and Comments are most appreciated


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